“There are no wrong choices;
there are only different choices.”
-Susan Jeffers
Sometimes it is so comfy to pull on an old, soft, well warn cashmere sweater of self pity and the “poor me’s”. Even better yet, how about a soft, plush blanket of depression, hibernation, and a good old DVD to match my mood, and then add a little isolation to top it off. Next, I will schedule a session with my therapist to rehearse all the times I have been hurt or victimized in the past, and talk about it ad infinitum so it can trigger all those horrific memories.
The more I read and study about the “law of attraction”, the less time I want to spend in these moods. Believe me, I still go to those dark places now and then, but I choose not to spend so much time in these dark crevices of my mind! I do believe with all my heart, soul, and mind, that what I focus on expands! If I want to spend time in self pity, anger, depression, or rehearsing the past it will only draw experiences or people that match the mood or vibration. So, if I am having a pity party, my spiritual advisor will tell me to set a timer for 5 minutes and then go to town with my negative rant. But then, that’s it! After the five minutes it is time to get into a gratitude rant of what I am grateful for. More often than not, my spiritual advisor will remind me that there is not a fire truck outside my home, and there is probably not even an ambulance. She reminds me to keep things in perspective! When I am in a negative frame of mind, my thoughts can become very skewed and sometimes it helps to check in with a friend who can put me back on track and back into reality.
I realize after many years of being on a spiritual path that I have a CHOICE! I can choose to have a bad day or a good day! Regardless of the economy, my teenager’s mood swings, a friend’s hangover, a snowstorm, my bank account, a traffic jam, or whatever, I can have a great day if I choose. I am no longer the victim of the external world. I can choose to get into gratitude no matter what! I can choose to constantly go to the higher feeling thought in any circumstance. All I have to do is line up my thoughts to appreciation and what’s going right in my life rather than what is going wrong. My friend Cassy called it “mind management”. I love that! Just managing our minds to go to the glass half full rather than half empty. So when you are ready to indulge in that “stinking thinking”, change the channel to higher thoughts and you will inevitably prevent negative outcomes and you will positively be reflecting a purely magnificent life!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Avoid Contamination!
Our lives will mirror our surroundings. Choose thoughtfully
-Karen Ann Tompkins
It is essential to keep a pure, clean, and open channel so we are better able to serve the world. We are a conduit for God to work through us, so it is essential to keep our body temple fresh and renewed. In order to keep the channels clean there are many things we can do on a daily basis and one important element is to avoid contamination.
How do we prevent contamination? One very important step we can take to prevent toxicity is to clear out or limit negative people in your life. That’s right! Unless you are assisting these crazy makers to heal their negativity, limit your time spent with them. Who are these people? They are the ones who complain, criticize, judge, and rant and rave on and on about things they are powerless over. They could also be obsessive gossipers, or they could suffer from acute narcissism and think they are the only one’s on the planet with a problem. Remember that birds of a feather flock together and is important to hang out with those people that have qualities that you admire.
Some other ways to not contaminate your human container is to eat healthier food. Remember live food, live body and dead food, dead body. Also, excersize is a great way to purify and to remove any toxins in the body. At least sweat once a day and stretch to create space in the joints, ligaments, and bones. If you create space in the body, then you create space in the body, mind, and soul!
Lastly, stay away from as much media as you can. Newspapers and trendy magazines are filled with sensationalism and they often exaggerate the state of affairs in the world, which can send most of us into panic! Also,If you can limit your hours on the television or computer, and then spend more time outside then you are guaranteed to sweeten your soul. To ultimately live a toxic free life spend as much time as you can in the mountains, forest, woods, desert, ocean, or garden. Immerse yourself in God’s landscape.
Eliminating negative people, eating healthy food and excersize, avoiding media, and immersing ourselves in nature is a sure way to live a pure, clean, and clear life. If you want to take it a step further and do some deeper cleaning; pray, meditate, become resentment free, forgive, serve and have compassion for our fellow travelers. Living this way is bound to create uncontrollable bliss, freedom, expansiveness, and random explosions of ecstasy!!!
“Avoid Contamination!!!!”
June 12, 2010
-Karen Ann Tompkins
It is essential to keep a pure, clean, and open channel so we are better able to serve the world. We are a conduit for God to work through us, so it is essential to keep our body temple fresh and renewed. In order to keep the channels clean there are many things we can do on a daily basis and one important element is to avoid contamination.
How do we prevent contamination? One very important step we can take to prevent toxicity is to clear out or limit negative people in your life. That’s right! Unless you are assisting these crazy makers to heal their negativity, limit your time spent with them. Who are these people? They are the ones who complain, criticize, judge, and rant and rave on and on about things they are powerless over. They could also be obsessive gossipers, or they could suffer from acute narcissism and think they are the only one’s on the planet with a problem. Remember that birds of a feather flock together and is important to hang out with those people that have qualities that you admire.
Some other ways to not contaminate your human container is to eat healthier food. Remember live food, live body and dead food, dead body. Also, excersize is a great way to purify and to remove any toxins in the body. At least sweat once a day and stretch to create space in the joints, ligaments, and bones. If you create space in the body, then you create space in the body, mind, and soul!
Lastly, stay away from as much media as you can. Newspapers and trendy magazines are filled with sensationalism and they often exaggerate the state of affairs in the world, which can send most of us into panic! Also,If you can limit your hours on the television or computer, and then spend more time outside then you are guaranteed to sweeten your soul. To ultimately live a toxic free life spend as much time as you can in the mountains, forest, woods, desert, ocean, or garden. Immerse yourself in God’s landscape.
Eliminating negative people, eating healthy food and excersize, avoiding media, and immersing ourselves in nature is a sure way to live a pure, clean, and clear life. If you want to take it a step further and do some deeper cleaning; pray, meditate, become resentment free, forgive, serve and have compassion for our fellow travelers. Living this way is bound to create uncontrollable bliss, freedom, expansiveness, and random explosions of ecstasy!!!
“Avoid Contamination!!!!”
June 12, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Congratulations! You Made It!!!
Celebrate the happiness that friends are always giving,
make everyday a holiday and celebrate just living!
-Amanda Bradly
Congratulations! You made it this far in life. If you are similar to me, you have survived epic heartache, financial challenges, dysfunctional relationships, emotional ups and downs, as well as the life of hard knocks. Guess what? I thought I was terminally unique and I found out that I am not! No matter how things look on the outside, everyone at some time or another has experienced “the dark night of the soul”.
In working with others, I have discovered that problems are universal! We all have difficulties at different stages of life. Most human beings have challenging upbringings, and I think I read that 90% of Americans have been raised in a dysfunctional family.
I have found that a common theme with individual’s that are down and out, often compare themselves with those around them. This can be very damaging, because we cannot judge other people’s insides by their outsides.Often those that look perfect on the outside, are often hiding the pain on the inside.
We can also count on life circumstances constantly changing. We go through cycles of flourishing and thriving and sometimes cycles of letting go and starting over. Going with the flow and accepting life’s bumps and gravel, as well as the smooth and well paved territory is what life is all about.
What I am really trying to get at is life can be challenging, but just remember God can only get in through the cracks! And if you made it this far it is time to celebrate! Stop being so hard on yourself! Quit analyzing, comparing, or getting down on yourself about your mistakes. Quit looking in the rearview mirror of your past and dance, sing, laugh, play, and most of all lighten the heck up!
make everyday a holiday and celebrate just living!
-Amanda Bradly
Congratulations! You made it this far in life. If you are similar to me, you have survived epic heartache, financial challenges, dysfunctional relationships, emotional ups and downs, as well as the life of hard knocks. Guess what? I thought I was terminally unique and I found out that I am not! No matter how things look on the outside, everyone at some time or another has experienced “the dark night of the soul”.
In working with others, I have discovered that problems are universal! We all have difficulties at different stages of life. Most human beings have challenging upbringings, and I think I read that 90% of Americans have been raised in a dysfunctional family.
I have found that a common theme with individual’s that are down and out, often compare themselves with those around them. This can be very damaging, because we cannot judge other people’s insides by their outsides.Often those that look perfect on the outside, are often hiding the pain on the inside.
We can also count on life circumstances constantly changing. We go through cycles of flourishing and thriving and sometimes cycles of letting go and starting over. Going with the flow and accepting life’s bumps and gravel, as well as the smooth and well paved territory is what life is all about.
What I am really trying to get at is life can be challenging, but just remember God can only get in through the cracks! And if you made it this far it is time to celebrate! Stop being so hard on yourself! Quit analyzing, comparing, or getting down on yourself about your mistakes. Quit looking in the rearview mirror of your past and dance, sing, laugh, play, and most of all lighten the heck up!
Saturday, May 29, 2010
"Balance And Boundaries"
Should I build a concrete wall around me to protect myself? Or should I place a flexible, pliable, and supple wall around me that helps create balance from the outside demands of others? When do I say “yes” and when do I say “no”? When does self indulgence become narcissism instead of simply just self care?
Well, I believe balance comes into play when setting healthy boundaries. For example, as a mother, I need to balance spending time with my child, taking care of my own needs, nurturing friendships, and working so I am able to support my family. It is very tricky, because if I just spend too much time at work, I could neglect my son and friendships and housework. If I socialize too much or spend too much time away from the home, my son and home could suffer. It is a constant balancing act, constantly getting back on track, and prioritize what is important and not important.
Demands from work, relatives, and friends can ultimately get us off course and we can end up neglecting our own lives to take care of or rescue others. This ultimately is a recipe for disaster because resentment and anger usually comes into play when we neglect our own soul’s desires for what we need to do for ourselves !
When we say “no” rather than “yes” we can get flack from those around us who are use to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems. When we change, others may intensify their feelings of guilt tripping or badgering us. Don’t let that become an opportunity to let that pull you back into your old ways! Stay firm and do not give the flack that much attention, it will eventually die down!
Life is not a dress rehearsal. I know many people who have sacrificed their lives doing for others and ultimately became resentful or angry towards themselves and with others. Setting boundaries is about balance. Taking care of ourselves first but in turn not neglecting our friends or family is essential. Saying “no” to others more often and saying “yes” to our souls desire will create a more fulfilling life without resentment! It is important that while taking care of ourselves we can find the balance with self care. Meanwhile, it is essential to follow our inner guidance and avoid self serving in a narcissistic way! Balance is the ultimate answer to this riddle of boundaries!
Well, I believe balance comes into play when setting healthy boundaries. For example, as a mother, I need to balance spending time with my child, taking care of my own needs, nurturing friendships, and working so I am able to support my family. It is very tricky, because if I just spend too much time at work, I could neglect my son and friendships and housework. If I socialize too much or spend too much time away from the home, my son and home could suffer. It is a constant balancing act, constantly getting back on track, and prioritize what is important and not important.
Demands from work, relatives, and friends can ultimately get us off course and we can end up neglecting our own lives to take care of or rescue others. This ultimately is a recipe for disaster because resentment and anger usually comes into play when we neglect our own soul’s desires for what we need to do for ourselves !
When we say “no” rather than “yes” we can get flack from those around us who are use to us taking care of their responsibilities, feelings, and problems. When we change, others may intensify their feelings of guilt tripping or badgering us. Don’t let that become an opportunity to let that pull you back into your old ways! Stay firm and do not give the flack that much attention, it will eventually die down!
Life is not a dress rehearsal. I know many people who have sacrificed their lives doing for others and ultimately became resentful or angry towards themselves and with others. Setting boundaries is about balance. Taking care of ourselves first but in turn not neglecting our friends or family is essential. Saying “no” to others more often and saying “yes” to our souls desire will create a more fulfilling life without resentment! It is important that while taking care of ourselves we can find the balance with self care. Meanwhile, it is essential to follow our inner guidance and avoid self serving in a narcissistic way! Balance is the ultimate answer to this riddle of boundaries!
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Do I Have Power?
You need to claim the events in your life to make yourself yours.
When you truly possess all you have been and done,which may
take some time, you are fierce with reality.
-Florida Scott-Maxwell
Am I powerless over people, places, institutions, situations, and my thinking? Am I helpless around what other people do or say? Can I make the sun come out? Can I get someone to stop drinking or overeating? Can I get the government or the Catholic church to make better choices? Am I powerful enough to change my internal and external circumstances?
In general, if I want to make myself go completely insane and crazy then I need to keep focusing on trying to make other’s do and feel something they aren’t , don’t want to feel, or choose to do. This is a recipe for disaster because the more I try to control others the more uncontrollable I become.
What I am not powerless over are my own thoughts and how I respond to other’s. I can choose to think and act in ways that I want, and I am not powerless over how I act and think if I am conscious, awake, and aware.Some of my friends believe that they are victims of their thoughts, and I believe we can exercise our minds and control our thinking if we choose.We can control our thoughts with a mental diet and through discipline and practice. If it seems very difficult to direct thoughts then prayer is the most powerful tool. I ask God every morning to help guide my thoughts, actions, words and deeds.
The more I focus on what I have some power over, and leave what I am powerless over alone, the more peace and solace I have in my life.I am powerless over changing others, the weather, my height, my past, the color of the sky, the color of the sun, and that I was born with a twin sister. What I am powerful with is whether I choose to have a good day or a bad day.I have the power to pray or not pray, or to meditate or not meditate. I have a choice of whether I eat junk food or healthy food . I can choose to be proactive or reactive with outside circumstances, situations, and people. I can choose to say “yes” or “no” to things that feel comfortable or uncomfortable. I have more internal choices rather than external choices,, and if I am powerless over things that I dislike than acceptance is the answer, and the primary focus is ultimately on myself for sanity and serenity!
When you truly possess all you have been and done,which may
take some time, you are fierce with reality.
-Florida Scott-Maxwell
Am I powerless over people, places, institutions, situations, and my thinking? Am I helpless around what other people do or say? Can I make the sun come out? Can I get someone to stop drinking or overeating? Can I get the government or the Catholic church to make better choices? Am I powerful enough to change my internal and external circumstances?
In general, if I want to make myself go completely insane and crazy then I need to keep focusing on trying to make other’s do and feel something they aren’t , don’t want to feel, or choose to do. This is a recipe for disaster because the more I try to control others the more uncontrollable I become.
What I am not powerless over are my own thoughts and how I respond to other’s. I can choose to think and act in ways that I want, and I am not powerless over how I act and think if I am conscious, awake, and aware.Some of my friends believe that they are victims of their thoughts, and I believe we can exercise our minds and control our thinking if we choose.We can control our thoughts with a mental diet and through discipline and practice. If it seems very difficult to direct thoughts then prayer is the most powerful tool. I ask God every morning to help guide my thoughts, actions, words and deeds.
The more I focus on what I have some power over, and leave what I am powerless over alone, the more peace and solace I have in my life.I am powerless over changing others, the weather, my height, my past, the color of the sky, the color of the sun, and that I was born with a twin sister. What I am powerful with is whether I choose to have a good day or a bad day.I have the power to pray or not pray, or to meditate or not meditate. I have a choice of whether I eat junk food or healthy food . I can choose to be proactive or reactive with outside circumstances, situations, and people. I can choose to say “yes” or “no” to things that feel comfortable or uncomfortable. I have more internal choices rather than external choices,, and if I am powerless over things that I dislike than acceptance is the answer, and the primary focus is ultimately on myself for sanity and serenity!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
HELP!!!!! 99% is GOING WRONG!!!!!
“The really happy person is the one who can enjoy the scenery
0n a detour” -Anon.
The toilet is overflowing! My car wouldn’t start! My computer crashed! The flu just seems to be lingering! The bills, the kids, my husband, the cat, the laundry, the lawsuit....HELP!!!!! Does your life sometimes feel like it is out of control? Do you feel as if there has been a curse placed on you, or that maybe you did something horrific in your past life and it’s payback time!
Well, do not fear, because there is a remedy to your dilemma and it really works. First of all, if 99% of your life seems really pathetic and hopeless, then low and behold, you must have 1% that is going pretty good. That 1% probably doesn’t seem that important because the other 99% is glaring at you and most likely has your full attention. The trick to this helpless situation is to actively focus on the 1% that is positive, and actively ignore the thoughts and situations that may be sinking you into deep despair.
Make a list of all the 1% things that may be going right in your life. Do you have a bed to sleep on tonight? Do you have eyes to read this blog? Do you have ears to listen to music, the wind, or the rain? Do you have friends to call for support? Are your legs or arms working today? Then if you answered “yes” to any of these questions then you really have so much to be grateful for. Focus on the things that are going right and the stuff that seems like really big deals are bound to shrink!
So when you are feeling overwhelmed by “Murphy’s Law” just change your thoughts to the things that are going correct and your outcome will shock you! Thank God for the plumber! Thank God for tow trucks! Amen to the computer technician. Hallelujah for chicken noodle soup, babysitters, and an unexpected checks in the mail! Look for big and small things to become appreciative of, like your toes, cups in the kitchen cupboard, a smile from a stranger, a breeze on your face, a flower on your walk, the moon, the sun, a giggle, or a long deep inhale and exhale. I guarantee that if you constantly draw your attention and focus on the good stuff that is going on your life, no matter how little it seems, your life will be transformed beyond your wildest dreams!
0n a detour” -Anon.
The toilet is overflowing! My car wouldn’t start! My computer crashed! The flu just seems to be lingering! The bills, the kids, my husband, the cat, the laundry, the lawsuit....HELP!!!!! Does your life sometimes feel like it is out of control? Do you feel as if there has been a curse placed on you, or that maybe you did something horrific in your past life and it’s payback time!
Well, do not fear, because there is a remedy to your dilemma and it really works. First of all, if 99% of your life seems really pathetic and hopeless, then low and behold, you must have 1% that is going pretty good. That 1% probably doesn’t seem that important because the other 99% is glaring at you and most likely has your full attention. The trick to this helpless situation is to actively focus on the 1% that is positive, and actively ignore the thoughts and situations that may be sinking you into deep despair.
Make a list of all the 1% things that may be going right in your life. Do you have a bed to sleep on tonight? Do you have eyes to read this blog? Do you have ears to listen to music, the wind, or the rain? Do you have friends to call for support? Are your legs or arms working today? Then if you answered “yes” to any of these questions then you really have so much to be grateful for. Focus on the things that are going right and the stuff that seems like really big deals are bound to shrink!
So when you are feeling overwhelmed by “Murphy’s Law” just change your thoughts to the things that are going correct and your outcome will shock you! Thank God for the plumber! Thank God for tow trucks! Amen to the computer technician. Hallelujah for chicken noodle soup, babysitters, and an unexpected checks in the mail! Look for big and small things to become appreciative of, like your toes, cups in the kitchen cupboard, a smile from a stranger, a breeze on your face, a flower on your walk, the moon, the sun, a giggle, or a long deep inhale and exhale. I guarantee that if you constantly draw your attention and focus on the good stuff that is going on your life, no matter how little it seems, your life will be transformed beyond your wildest dreams!
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